Adulting with Autism: Navigating Independence and Employment

Being diagnosed with autism as an adult, especially as a woman, can be a whirlwind of emotions—relief, confusion, validation, and sometimes even grief for the years spent feeling “different” without knowing why. Many women and girls with autism are overlooked due to masking, a survival mechanism where we mimic neurotypical behaviours to blend in. But once the mask starts to slip, and we step into our authentic selves, the journey of adulting with autism truly begins.

On Autism Awareness Day (Wednesday, 2nd April), it’s crucial to highlight the challenges and triumphs of autistic adults navigating independence, employment, and societal expectations. While autism is often discussed in the context of childhood, the conversation must extend to adulthood, where new challenges—and opportunities—arise.

The Journey to Independence

Independence means different things to different people. For some autistic adults, it’s about living alone, managing finances, and handling daily responsibilities. For others, it’s about advocating for accommodations at work or setting boundaries in relationships.

Common Challenges:

• Executive Dysfunction: Tasks like paying bills, meal prepping, or scheduling appointments can feel overwhelming.
• Sensory Sensitivities: Navigating loud workplaces, bright lights, or crowded spaces can be exhausting.
• Social Expectations: Small talk, networking, and reading between the lines in conversations don’t always come naturally.

Tips for Navigating Independence:

• Create routines: A structured daily plan can make tasks feel more manageable.
• Use tools and technology: Apps for reminders, budgeting, and time management can be lifesavers.
• Set realistic goals: Independence doesn’t mean doing everything alone—seeking support is okay.
• Advocate for accommodations: Whether it’s noise-cancelling headphones or flexible work arrangements, small adjustments can make a big difference.

Employment: Finding the Right Fit

The job market can be daunting, especially when navigating social interactions, interviews, and workplace expectations. However, autistic adults bring unique strengths to the workforce, such as deep focus, creativity, and innovative problem-solving.

Workplace Challenges:

• Job Interviews: The unspoken rules of interviews—eye contact, small talk, and body language—can be tricky.
• Sensory Overload: Open-plan offices, fluorescent lights, and background noise can be distracting or distressing.
• Social Dynamics: Office politics, team meetings, and networking events can feel draining.

Tips for Employment Success:

• Seek autism-friendly employers: Some companies actively support neurodiverse employees. Look for inclusive workplaces.
• Be open about accommodations: Whether it’s written instructions instead of verbal ones or a quiet workspace, asking for what you need can improve job satisfaction.
• Find roles that play to your strengths: Jobs that align with your interests and skills—whether in tech, creative industries, research, or hands-on work—can be more fulfilling.
• Consider self-employment or remote work: Many autistic adults thrive in freelance or work-from-home roles where they can control their environment.

Breaking Societal Expectations

Society often expects autistic adults to conform to neurotypical norms, but real inclusion means embracing differences rather than forcing assimilation. The pressure to “act normal” can be exhausting, and it’s time for workplaces, communities, and individuals to recognise that autism isn’t a deficiency—it’s a different way of experiencing the world.

Ways to Promote Inclusion:

• Educate Others: Share your experiences to help people understand autism beyond stereotypes.
• Challenge Ableism: Advocate for policies that support neurodivergent individuals in education, work, and public spaces.
• Find Your Community: Connecting with other autistic adults can provide validation, support, and a sense of belonging.

Final Thoughts: Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Adulting with autism comes with its struggles, but it’s also a journey of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. Embracing our needs, strengths, and boundaries allows us to carve out fulfilling lives on our own terms.

As we recognise Autism Awareness Day, let’s push for more than just awareness—let’s advocate for acceptance, understanding, and real change. Whether you’re navigating independence, looking for the right job, or redefining success, remember: you don’t have to fit in to belong.

Written & Lived By Terri Walsh